Senin, 09 April 2012

Bagaimana cara menjadi LAKI-LAKI ?

How to Be a Man

It takes more than a pair of testicles to achieve manhood. Myriad cultures around the world have rites of passage to symbolize it. This article focuses on the journey from boyhood to manhood, rather than any fundamental difference between men and women.

1. Know yourself. Understand that all men in all cultures may have, to some extent, been socialized in ways that may be psychologically and culturally damaging, and may bring unhappiness. The first step in creating a sense of self in manhood is to examine the environment in which you were raised, as objectively as you can.

Did you grow up in a culture where it was acceptable to abuse someone, whether physically or verbally, who was 'out of line' or insubordinate? Violence is more often the result of cowardice than a genuine impulse to solve a problem; it's a reaction to frustration, a desperate seizure of power when nothing else is going your way. Using violence or threats against friends or family to "show your authority" is unhealthy and damaging. Dozens of philosophies and world cultures affirm that violence is only acceptable as a means of protection from imminent danger.

Were you taught to be "tough" to the extent that you were taught to suppress emotion, to hold in tears and never expose vulnerability? The drawback here is that you also learn to internalize and suppress these emotions which then fester and escape in undesirable ways. Focus on being tough to the extent that you can be a reliable, strong figure who can handle adversity. Sometimes you must do unpleasant things for the sake of the people you care for, and this requires toughness, but find healthy ways to vent as well.

Were you taught to hate/fear anyone who's homosexual? Understand that only one thing makes you gay: having a romantic and sexual preference for people of the same gender. The kind of music you like, the clothes you wear, whether you cry at sad movies, buying your wife flowers, being sensitive or nice to others, none of that makes you gay. Furthermore, outward displays of homophobia indicate a man's own sexual insecurity.

2. Develop yourself. Your body changed from that of a boy to that of a man, and so should your mind and heart. A boy trapped in a man's body is not a man at all. Think about any stereotypes you were taught (from the previous steps) and how you can overcome them. Understand that this process will differ dramatically from man to man, and will continue throughout your life. The important thing is that you learn and mature as time goes on.

3. Seek responsibility and take responsibility for your actions. The main difference between a man and a boy, and adult and a child, is that men are responsible. Men honor their commitments, accept their duties and are accountable for damages they incur, debts they owe and claims they make. Men clean up after themselves (figuratively and literally). Men know that anyone can father a baby but only a man who understands and accepts responsibility can be a good father. Men refuse to make anyone do anything they themselves are unwilling to do. Sometimes men make sacrifices for the people they love and care about. That's life. It's part of growing up, whether you like it or not. The difference between a man and a boy is that a man steps up to the plate, while a boy hesitates or complains. A man admits when he is wrong

4. Be a good man. It can be tempting to think that by meeting your self-defined responsibilities as a man, your job is done, but that doesn't necessarily make you a good person. Never stop trying to do the right thing and re-evaluating your character and integrity. If you're going to be a man, be a good man, or else it's no better than remaining a boy.

Sumber: http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Man

Langkah-Langkah untuk menjadi GENTLEMAN

Personal Grooming is Important

  1. Good hygiene is a must. Make sure to bathe and groom yourself regularly. When applying deodorant or cologne, don't use a lot. Some girls may not like the smell and if you reek of it they're not going to be pleased. Also, make sure you don't use too much hair gel (it's sticky and goes rock hard after a while).

  2. Pay attention to how you look. Wear clothes that fit your body well, eliminate flashy clothing and avoid fashion "faux pas" (i.e. baseball hats cocked slightly to the side). A simpler wardrobe will keep the emphasis on you, not your clothes, which will change your outlook. Get regular haircuts.
     

Be Polite

  1. A true gentleman is polite to everyone, in action and words. Always be aware of how you can help people. Wait an extra few seconds to hold the door for the person behind you. Offer to help an old or pregnant person get their grocery bags to the car. You don't have to be paranoid or risk killing yourself (i.e if you've got a precarious grip on something heavy, don't open the door for someone) but respect is paramount. Even if someone is being stupid, be polite and respectful.
  2. Be prepared to ask questions or make statements of courtesy, like "how was your day", "may I help you?", or "let me get that for you", or "I'll take care of that".
  3. Don't swear. Ever. Don't speak of vulgar matter. If it's too difficult to stop cursing all-together, tone it down a lot.
  4. In public, don't: fart, belch, speak too loudly, be overly demanding/offensive, or drink heavily. A gentleman is always in control of himself, body and mind.
Partake in Polite Conversation
  1. Don't talk about yourself much. On the other hand, girls like to know a little bit about you so they can understand what you are talking about sometimes. In addition to making you a much more desirable conversationalist, it will make you seem more mysterious to not share too much, which many women find attractive. Get a basic idea of what's going on in music, sports, and politics.
  2. Learn to either avoid politics and religion until you know someone better, and learn how to be neutral if someone else brings it up. A simple shrug will do wonders. A gentleman doesn't make other people uncomfortable.

Be Courteous to Women

  1. Don't stare at and ogle women or say anything degrading to or about them. It's never a good idea to objectify a woman (or anyone else, for that matter).
  2. Give girls a little extra respect. Don't be obsequious, but neofeminism has kind of gotten rid of some basic politeness that they'll appreciate, such as opening car/building doors, etc. Don't put every girl on a pedestal (we're all human), but they'll really appreciate it if you do them favors, like giving up your seat on the bus even though they're not carrying anything heavy.
  3. There are some things you shouldn't talk to girls about. These include how hot other girls are, or anything at all of that nature. If she's not into sports or video games, you can say a few things but then move on to something she's into. Girls tend to be more interested in books and music than in sports and video games, though there are plenty of exceptions to every rule. It's fine to talk about that stuff with your guy friends, but a gentleman doesn't do that.
  4. When walking on the sidewalk or on the side of the road, gentlemen should walk on the outside(closer to the road), whereas the lady should be on the inside, protected from oncoming traffic.
  5. Do not talk down to women ever. It's okay to tease but being cruel is not the way to go. Teasing does not mean calling them vulgar words, however. No matter how joking your tone is, it hurts a woman when a so-called "gentleman" calls them a dirty word.
  6. Pay attention to the fact that the world is more threatening for girls: they're automatically targets at night or in bad neighborhoods. Walk her to her door (or car) if at all possible. It doesn't matter how strong she actually is, if you're a girl people will go at you first, whereas by virtue of being male you're safer. If your girl has to park far away from her dorm or home, always offer to drive her to and from your destination. She will appreciate how caring you are about her safety.

Respect Your Girlfriend

  1. Remember to keep doing nice things for your girlfriend when you're around her. If she's carrying something, pick it up when she puts it down and always kindly let her know by saying "oh, let me get that for you", whatever the object is. Remember, being selfish is not attractive. If you are watching television with your girl and you know she likes a particular show or sporting event, leave it there. She will appreciate that little bit of selflessness more than you know.
  2. Show up with a card or a flower and not just for holidays. Expensive and showy doesn't matter, it's the effort. In fact, a rose, a little love note left on her pillow, or a heartfelt kiss will keep any girl happy for days.
  3. If in love, be sure to tell her often that you love her and make it sound meaningful. Be open about yourself to her and share with one another, making sure you laugh and keep things upbeat. Don't be a stiff bore.
  4. Stand up for your girl. Don't go around punching everyone who looks at her sideways, but if anyone is giving her looks or unwanted advances, intervene. Put your arm around her shoulder and move yourselves away, or go to her and speak up for her. The physical contact reassures her and lets the aggressor know that he's got to deal with both of you.

No Fighting Allowed

  1. Avoid fighting, as it isn't the best way to solve problems, however a real gentleman never backs off when he's challenged, always standing up for himself and his values. Remember to prioritize and not sacrifice your values for someone who is clearly just picking a fight with whomever will join in. If someone is simply embarrassing himself by offending you, don't sink to his level, but walk away.
  2. If you do decide to fight, keep the straight posture, even if your rival is taller than you. Be reasonable, never use weapons, such as guns, knives and the like, as this kind of "chivalry" is from the old days and might end up seriously damaging you. And never, never fight in/against a group, for a gentleman only duels, do not try to be Chuck Norris. If your opponent is down, that means you made your point and it's time to stop fighting. Offer him a hand to get up, always expecting a bad reaction, as he might not have the same values as you have.
     

Cara Agar Umur Laki-Laki Lebih Panjang

Seven Things Men Can Do to Lengthen Their Lives

Di masyarakat manapun, sejak dulu sampai sekarang, kaum laki-laki selalu mati lebih cepat dibandingkan perempuan. Nah, agar ini tidak berlanjut terus, maka saran berikut perlu diperhatikan, yaitu:

1. Know your blood pressure no matter what your age; exercise vigorously every day to increase your naturally low HDL levels; and start getting screened for coronary artery disease in your twenties.

2. Go to the doctor and tell him or her if you're having a health problem of any kind. Our culture may reward stoic behavior from men; disease does not. This is especially true for men who feel sad or depressed for extended periods. It is extremely common for men to internalize and ignore their problems. Seek help.

3. Monitor your behavior and minimize tendencies to act in a boneheaded way. You know better than to drive recklessly, ignore safety protocols at work, or operate machinery while intoxicated.

4. Keep off excess weight to avoid a phalanx of chronic diseases that will impair your quality of life well before they actually kill you. Coronary artery disease, diabetes, and prostate cancer are a few extremely common risks associated with being overweight that typically take a toll on your well-being—including the ability to have an erection—long before life is actually cut short. In some cases, it's the disease itself that causes the sexual problems; in others it's the medications or surgeries used to treat the disease that take the toll.

5. Don't smoke. According to the American Cancer Society, smokers who quit at age 35 can expect to live up to eight and a half years longer than continuing smokers. Risk begins to fall within months and falls to the levels of nonsmokers in three to five years.

6. Don't fear digital rectal exams. PSA screening for prostate cancer is controversial because it might pick up tiny cancers that aren't clinically important, but there's little doubt that digital exams reveal dangerous cancers that have to be treated. Same goes for colonoscopies. They're uncomfortable, yes, but far less so than malignant colon cancer and chemotherapy.

7. Protect your head, and tell your doctor if you get dinged especially hard. A CT scan may be needed. Concussions may seem harmless, but they can cause long-term brain bleeding that lead to memory problems, disrupted sleep, and personality changes that last a lifetime.

Dari buku: Why Men Die First (Marianne Legato)
Sumber: http://health.usnews.com/health-news/blogs/on-men/2008/06/13/7-reasons-men-die-first

Mengapa Laki-Laki Mati Duluan

Dari Buku "Why Men Die First" (Marianne Legato):

Popular culture may paint men as the stronger sex, but from the moment a boy is born, his life is more likely than his sister's to be cut short. Across national and cultural boundaries, men die an average of seven years earlier than women; the disparity in the United States is approximately five years. In a new book, Why Men Die First, Marianne Legato, a specialist in gender-specific medicine at Columbia University, explains: They're genetically and biologically fragile to start with, she says, and societal norms that encourage and even demand risky behavior by men put them at risk. Still, Legato told U.S. News, men and their families can push back. She highlighted seven reasons why males die prematurely—and seven actions they can take to prolong their time.

1. Males are burdened with natural genetic deficits.
While every cell in a woman's body has two large X chromosomes, men have one X and one smaller Y chromosome; the Y is half the size. The "spare" X chromosomes allow women's bodies to compensate when faced with damage in ways that men's cells cannot. In addition, mutations are three to six times more likely in a Y chromosome than an X chromosome. This genetic deficit could be part of the reason why miscarriages, infections, birth defects, cancers, and many other health problems strike males especially hard.

2. The womb is more treacherous for boys.
Baby boys are one-and-a-half to two times more likely to die at birth than girls. A weaker immune system, a tendency for immature lung development, inadequate blood flow to male fetuses, and high vulnerability to maternal stresses seem to be the culprits. Brain hemorrhages, congenital malformations, pneumonia, and urinary tract infections are all more common among male newborns.

3. Males are more likely to have developmental disorders.
An article published in the British Medical Journal notes that a variety of disorders—including reading delays, deafness, autism, ADHD, blindness, seizure disorders, hyperactivity, clumsiness, stammering, and Tourette's syndrome are three to four times more common in boys than girls. There are 10 males for every female with Asperger's syndrome, a mild form of autism.

4. They're biologically more prone to risky behavior.
Slower development of the area of the brain that governs judgment makes males—especially adolescents—more likely than girls to die in accidents. According to a National Safety Council statistics, males were involved in 82 percent of accidental deaths associated with firearms, 87 percent of bicycle-related fatalities, nearly double the number of poisoning deaths, and almost four times as many homicides in 2004. Likewise, in 2006 they were in 81 percent of fatal crashes involving drunken driving.

5. A "suck-it-up" culture means men often languish with depression.
Although women are more likely to make suicide attempts, the ratio of men to women who actually kill themselves is nearly 4 to 1. For men ages 20 to 24, fully 15 percent of all deaths are suicides.

6. Men choose more dangerous occupations.
The bulk of sailors, firefighters, police officers, construction workers, and farmers are men. Of the 5,734 fatalities that occurred on the job in 2005, men were the victims in the vast majority—5,328. And men still do the vast majority of the fighting during military conflicts.

7. Coronary artery disease strikes men early.
Estrogen seems to protect women from heart disease until they are well into midlife, but it is common for symptoms to begin in men by the age of 35. Making matters worse, men have naturally low levels of protective HDL cholesterol. The result: Between 70 percent and 89 percent of all sudden cardiac events occur in men, and men die three times more frequently of coronary artery disease than women.

(Sumber: http://health.usnews.com/health-news/blogs/on-men/2008/06/13/7-reasons-men-die-first)


Minggu, 08 April 2012

Ciri-ciri Pria yang Penuh Perhatian

KOMPAS.com - Setiap perempuan pasti senang dengan limpahan perhatian dari pasangannya. Namun, tak semua pria diberi kemampuan untuk menunjukkan perhatian ini. Jika pun mereka gemar memberi perhatian, seringkali hanya mereka lakukan saat "pedekate" atau saat masih pacaran. Begitu menikah, segala bentuk perhatian itu langsung sirna.
Nah, jika Anda ingin mengetahui apakah pasangan Anda termasuk pria perhatian, coba amati bagaimana ia selalu menanggapi kata-kata Anda. Anda tak perlu mendengar apa komentarnya. Cukup berfokus pada ekspresi wajahnya ketika mendengarkan keluh-kesah Anda.

Para peneliti dari University of Toronto mengatakan, pria yang mengangguk, tersenyum, dan tampak simpatik ketika mendengarkan keluhan-keluhan orang lain cenderung memiliki gen tertentu yang membuat mereka menjadi pasangan yang penuh perhatian. Sebelumnya, peneliti Amerika dan Canada merekam 23 relawan yang tengah mendengarkan pasangan mereka sedang berkeluh-kesah. Rekaman video itu lalu dipertontonkan tanpa suara kepada lebih dari 100 orang yang tak dikenal, tak lebih dari 20 detik. Mereka lalu diminta menilai seberapa baik, perhatian, dan dapat dipercaya para relawan yang jadi pendengar tersebut.
Pria dan wanita yang dianggap paling hangat oleh para penilai ternyata cenderung memiliki gen yang dikaitkan dengan kadar oksitosin (hormon "perhatian") yang tinggi. Hormon ini memberikan sifat sensitif dan penuh perhatian pada orang lain.

"Penemuan kami menunjukkan bahwa variasi genetik yang kecil pun bisa memberikan pengaruh yang nyata para perilaku manusia, dan bahwa perbedaan perilaku ini akan cepat diamati oleh orang lain," tutur ketua tim penulis, Aleksandr Kogan.

Semua pasangan menjalani uji genetik sebelum video direkam untuk melihat tipe oksitosin yang mereka miliki, entah versi G yang dikaitkan dengan perilaku perhatian, atau versi A yang dihubungkan dengan sikap egois dan ketrampilan sosial yang rendah. Versi A juga dikaitkan dengan sikap gemar mengambil risiko, mudah stres di situasi sosial, dan autisme. Ada pula versi AG, yang merupakan kombinasi keduanya.

Dari 10 orang yang dinilai oleh orang tak dikenal sebagai yang paling tidak perhatian dan dapat dipercaya, 9 di antaranya hanya mempunyai versi A. Sedangkan mereka yang dinilai paling perhatian (yang cenderung mengangguk dan tersenyum ketika mendengarkan kisah orang lain), enam di antaranya hanya memiliki versi G.

Nah, sifat perhatian dan gen versi G paling jelas terlihat pada pria, demikian menurut studi yang diterbitkan di jurnal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences ini.
Klik di sini untuk melihat galeri foto koleksi busana Danar Hadi di Jakarta Fashion Week 2012.


Sumber: The Daily Mail
(Sumber: http://female.kompas.com/read/2011/11/15/17325019/Ciri-ciri.Pria.yang.Penuh.Perhatian)

10 Ciri-ciri Pria yang Baik Sebagai Pasangan Hidup mu

Mencari pria untuk sekedar menjadi pacar sebenarnya bukan hal yang sulit. Yang sulit adalah mencari pria yang pantas untuk menjadi pendamping hidupmu. Sayangnya, banyak pria di luar sana yang memanfaatkan kelemahan wanita yang rentan terhadap rayuan untuk dengan mudah mendapatkan mereka. Supaya kamu dapat memilih pasangan hidup yang tepat, berikut ini adalah 10 ciri-ciri pria yang baik dan untuk dijadikan pasangan hidupmu:

1. Pria yang bisa memperlakukanmu dengan baik
Bukan dengan memperlakukanmu seperti putri raja dan memanjakanmu setiap hari, tetapi ia tahu apa yang harus ia lakukan untuk menunjukkan cintanya dan tidak akan pernah menyakitimu. Apabila tanpa ia sadari ia menyakiti dirimu, ia tidak ragu untuk mendatangimu, mengakui kesalahan dengan jantan dan meminta maaf dengan tulus. Ia adalah pria yang menghargai dan menghormati wanita. Tidak ada yang lebih menjijikkan dibandingkan pria yang merendahkan, sering melakukan kekerasan fisik dan verbal terhadap wanita.
2. Pria yang kata-katanya sesuai dengan tindakannya
Ketika ia berkata ya, maka ia akan melakukannya, ketika ia berkata tidak, maka ia akan tidak akan melakukannya. Termasuk dalam ciri-ciri ini adalah pria yang setia terhadap pasangannya. Saat ia berjanji bahwa kamu adalah wanita satu-satunya yang ia cintai, maka ia benar-benar tidak memiliki wanita lain di hatinya. Intinya, ia mampu mempertanggungjawabkan kata-katanya dan merealisasikannya dalam tindakan (tidak plin plan).
3. Pria yang mencintaimu luar dan dalam
Mengapa pria seperti ini tepat? Karena ia tidak mencintai kecantikan fisik wanita saja. Ia bisa mencintai segala kelebihan dan kekuranganmu, baik fisik, sikap, dan kebiasaanmu. Dan yang paling penting, ia bisa mencintai ketidaksempurnaanmu secara sempurna.
4. Pria yang punya masa depan cerah
Jika kamu benar-benar serius untuk membina hubungan sampai jenjang pernikahan, maka karakteristik ini harus benar-benar kamu pikirkan. Apakah kamu harus memilih pria yang mapan dalam pekerjaan dan keuangannya? Tidak juga. Yang paling penting adalah ia dewasa dalam berpikir dan memiliki rencana-rencana ke depan yang jelas, tidak menghabiskan waktunya hanya dengan bermain game dan menonton tv. Ia bisa menyeimbangkan antara having fun dan beristirahat dengan pekerjaan dan produktivitas.
5. Pria yang mampu membimbing dan melindungimu
Dalam sebuah hubungan, pria adalah leader. Bersamanya, kamu dapat berkembang menjadi wanita yang lebih baik. Ia juga menjadi orang pertama yang berada di depanmu untuk melindungimu dari segala macam bahaya.
6. Pria yang percaya diri
Ia mungkin tidak tampan, tapi ia selalu terlihat bersemangat, wajahnya cerah, berani menghadapi orang, dan memiliki kepribadian yang menyenangkan. Dan yang paling penting adalah ia tetap menjadi dirinya sendiri dan tidak berusaha mati-matian untuk mengubah sikapnya dan berperilaku seperti orang lain (misalnya aktor yang kamu suka) ketika ia mencoba untuk menarik perhatian dirimu.
7. Pria yang independen
Apakah pria yang meluangkan setiap jam,menit,dan detik untuk dirimu adalah pria yang tepat untukmu? Singkat saja, TIDAK. Karena itu berarti ia terlalu terikat pada dirimu dan bisa membuatnya bersikap posesif ketika ia sudah mendapatkan dirimu. Pria yang independen adalah pria yang juga memikirkan hidupnya sendiri, meluangkan waktu untuk keluarga dan teman-temannya dan mengerjakan hobinya sendiri. Sekali lagi, jangan pernah memilih pria yang terlalu lekat dan terlalu membutuhkanmu, karena ia sendiri yang akan menjadi orang yang merusak hubunganmu dengan dirinya dan orang lain di masa depan.
8. Pria yang apresiatif
Ia adalah orang yang peka dan perhatian terhadap hal-hal kecil yang kamu lakukan. Ketika kamu berusaha untuk tampil cantik, ia akan memujimu. Ketika kamu mengambilkan air minum untuk dirinya, ia akan mengucapkan terima kasih. Ketika kamu melakukan hal-hal yang di luar kebiasaanmu, ia mengamati perubahanmu.
9. Pria yang jujur dalam bertindak dan berkata-kata
Ia bisa berkata yang sebenarnya terjadi ketika ia melakukan kesalahan dan ia melakukan segala sesuatu untuk dirimu dengan tulus tanpa maksud buruk tertentu. Selain itu, ia adalah pria yang tidak mencari approval (persetujuan) darimu dengan selalu memberikan pujian, tetapi ia juga bisa mengkritik dirimu ketika kamu melakukan kesalahan. Pujian penting untuk membuatmu semakin termotivasi sedangkan kritik penting untuk membuatmu menjadi wanita yang lebih baik lagi.
10. Pria yang punya moralitas yang baik
Tingkat moralitas dirinya juga berpengaruh terhadap hubunganmu kelak. Pria yang jarang bermasalah dengan dirinya sendiri dan masyarakat cenderung akan berlaku baik dalam hubungan denganmu. Moralitas yang rendah (suka menyelesaikan masalah dengan kekerasan, akrab dengan kriminalitas, narkoba, dan free-sex) akan membawa sebuah hubungan ke dalam masalah kekerasan, pertengkaran, dan perselingkuhan.

Sumber: http://www.lovevirtue.com/in/Tips-Wanita/10-ciri-ciri-pria-yang-baik-sebagai-pasangan-hidupmu.html